how much?

Sometimes when I ponder and think, I really wonder, how much I can make a difference. How much I matter. And how much I get affected by what people share with me. And at the end of each day, does that person matter that much to me? I pretty much feel like clearing up a friends list. Like "getting rid" in a way, of people who I just can't keep up with. I'm just so bogged down by so many things, some people and their lives seem so trivial to me, that I should not be so caught up by it. Yet, there are some, who has such a big impact on my life, and I wanna give more than I am giving now. People whom really, really matter to me.

What I'm probably gonna do next, is name them. Heh. Feel the tension? Nah, don't. If your name's not here, doesn't mean you're hated. I'm just either pretty unsure of being able to keep up, or you have too exciting a life for me. Or you're just a pain in the ass. :)

People whom really mean a lot to me:
Of course, there's definitely family. My mom, dad, bro, Mun, Jeannie (yes, you're family to me), Shauna, Wanxin, Jeanette and of course, my dear Candice. Then comes friends. Hmm. Maybe I don't really need or want, for that matter, friends. Okays, Ernest, Fay and Johnston. People whom I've basically seen since forever, and not just that, who have been there for me.

That's what matters. I can't possibly keep giving. I only have that much. And some people are like Bittorrent leechers. They keep taking without seeding. Where were they when I needed someone? I was there for them. These don't deserve my care I feel. Even though I gave my care and concern unconditionally. But these don't care about others. They're just selfish, and they just want to be heard. They never bother about anyone else. I've got a lot of names running through my head, but I'm not gonna bitch and flame them. Of course, it's none of the above people I've mentioned. So YOU could be it. :)

Just a ranting post, really. Though sometime I might wanna get to doing it.